Talk, it is not that tough!

Just heard the news of Sushant Singh Rajput’s suicide! It is really saddening.
It reminds me of how I went into a deep depression a couple of years back. Yes. I had to deal depression. It arrived due to multiple reasons combined and  A work related opportunity that I could not get was one of them. This opportunity would have solved all the financial crunches I had. I was counting high on it. I was terrified. I went on thinking about the same every day, every night. It was too tough for me to handle it. Plus the fact that the person whom I could share everything was not with me. My mum. She went to the US to visit my Sister. We could not meet for 3 months. And these three were the harshest.
My friends, to whom I could talk about everything, were not around. Used to visit to my hometown every weekend to see my Papa and cry the entire journey. Wipe my tears. Cover it with smile and move ahead. At this point in time, one of my friends realized that it is not normal with me and listened to everything I said. That help me flush out all my thoughts and get in the positivity he tried to infuse. Had this not happen at that time, I could have thought about ending my game.. Thank God! I spoke. I took some help and got through it. And I cannot thank that friend enough! When you are under some pressure, talk. No matter how strong you pretend to be outside, if you need help, talk! Talking out is the key here. Nothing works better than this. As shown in the movie Dear Zindagi, it might seem abnormal at first to seek a medical help here, but, if needed, go for it. It is there to improve the situation. Do not hesitate.
And amidst all this, there was one manager of mine, Xyz(name changed, off course), he enjoyed the frustration in me related to the above and used to just fuel the fire during office time by saying, ‘Oho, aap to reh gaye. Aapko jo chahiye tha, wo to aur kisi ko mil gaya’ stuff. Please stay away from such people. And one suggestion to people, just analyse your behaviour. If it is like the person above, just stop doing it. You never know what the person is going through and what your reaction might result into.

Dear Didi

Dear Didi,

Lots of love❤️❤️❤️

Today is Rakshabandhan! First of all, Happy Rakshabandhan from your silly little one :)
This was the day, I used to wait for every year..Because on this day, I used to get a lot of surprises..Be your surprise gifts or your surprise visit to our place..It was always fun..

As per the tradition, Rakshabandhan is a festival wherein a sister ties a thread to her brother and the brother in return, promises to protect her and a presents her a gift. I celebrated a variant of this. You were there in place of the brother.
For me, when young, it was all about the gifts you gave me. All your gifts were beautiful. But today, I want to thank you for the most beautiful one. Yes, for the gift that made me what I am today.
You are humble enough to never realize this.But you are the one who has shaped me mentally. Made me stronger, strengthened me to accept my vulnerabilities, educated me..
Instead of traditionally doing it yourself, you gifted me the ability to protect myself..No other gift could be as precious and beautiful as this one..
I agree, sometimes, I did not use to like your scoldings.I did not realize these were necessary for me. But I am grateful that you did not give up this difficult mission of molding me.. Please never stop doing this..Let it remain the same as our love :)


<---------()--------->
Happy rakhi, again :)

Yes, I believe in Magic!!

Once upon a time there lived a version of me who believed in the world of magic performed on the stage..

( I know.. This start may take you to your story writing session of your composition class..But, yes..This is an apt start for the post :P )

I believed in magicians.I loved his art and used to remain awestruck when he performed magic.The art which he used to make birds fly out of no where..The art which he used to cut a lady into two and make her reappear single piece.. And many more..How innocent of me! I believed that he had divine powers to do all this stuff.. However, the day I came to know that these weren't powers, just the well-practiced tricks, I lost my interest in a magician!

Wait! Not all the magicians!

I know a magician who never fails in her magic.. No tricks, actual magic!

This person is a reason I still say, Yes..I believe in magic!!

She is no other than my mother :)

I feel her magic around me every single time. With her magic, she knows even the things I don't tell her..With her magic, she fades the pain, grief, sadness..every negativity world introduces in me..Just lying with my head placed on her lap frees me from the worries of the world :) She knows me better than me..

Do you know any other word for this? I don't! I call it purely 'Mummy ka Magic' and when one knows such a magician, why wouldn't one say, Yes, I believe in Magic!

A love story

💓💓💓

A boy telling to a girl, "My heart beats only for you"

Promising her, "Are pagali, tere liye kuch bhi!"

And to be with her in every problem saying, "Aaja saath milke dekhte hain kya issue hain!"

Isn't this sounding like a well written script of a Bollywood movie.. Trust me, this isn't!

I read somewhere yesterday, "Your life may not be extra-ordinary, but with the entry of your love, it seems like a fairy tale"

Suddenly,out of nowhere, this fairy tale started in my life as well. But before I could understand anything, 'Dil pe patthar rakhkar mene breakup kar liya'!

No No No No No... Don't misunderstand this. I know, while reading this one, you might think that this will be a love story with a sad ending. Better not read it.
But hold on! Trust me, it is not. :P

Yes. This one is a true incident and these quoted statements were said to me. However, not in the usual context.There is altogether different story behind this. Let me take you all to the day when it happened!

So, in my office, two of my friends like each other. Just to spice up things between them and bring in the 'Jealousy' factor, we, I and one of those two, planned to play this script. And guess what, it worked for them :P A planned fake love story with a planned breakup!

Ab nautanki to main pehle se hi hoon, dosto ke liye itna to kar hi sakti hoon!
Baki love-shove to filmo me hi theek hai, ya fairy tales me!

It's not that I don't want my life to be fairy tale.
I too want to be Cinderella.. not for the prince charming, but for the pretty pair of shoes :P

See, I said in the beginning, this is not a sad love story.. This is a never ending, happy love story of me and my shoes :P

My Secret Santa

A week before, we celebrated 'secret santa' in our office. It is this time of the year which I enjoy the most. Being from a conservative Hindu family, as a child, I never knew anything like 'secret santa' or stockings and the gift' wala concept. Hence, this celebration drove me crazy the very first time I celebrated it. The excitement of the bringing a gift for someone(secretly, a really tough task for me!!) and anticipating a 'gift' from someone has always fascinated me. More than that, the guessing part of it, who would have brought the gift for you :) 

 Though this time, it was a bit different. It started with the epitome of excitement as usual. I bought a gift for my 'Santee'. It was all cool till the time everyone started looking out for the gifts with their names on it and opened their respective gifts. I loved this. Due to certain circumstances, I had to miss out on all this. For me the fun part was helping people guess their Santa that day. However, some folks were not happy as I spoiled their fun of guessing the Santa. 

Cool, said I. I kept silent thereafter. I began with my work. A busy last week of 2017.

However, I could not somehow digest the fact of someone stopping me from getting the only happiness of the day when everyone else had their own share of happiness, getting their gifts and  a chance to guess their Santa. Only thing I was enjoying in the process, somebody just refused me to do that too..That day, I was already missing a friend of mine a lot, cause he never failed to get me smiling.. And then with this state of mind, even this small incident was just enough to sadden me :(

With this short, not so exciting incident in my life, that day, I got a wonderful life lesson. It was,

'People would never understand what you are being through, only you can.. You just can't give the key of your happiness in someone else's hand.. You have to be happy by yourself..'

Taking this lesson, I decided to be my own secret santa :) I gifted myself some wonderful gifts thereafter :) Hopefully, I will continue to do so in this entire new year :) I hope everyone else too does the same :)

And just to let you all know, I got my gift from my Santa later and a beautiful one :) Along with a promise of yet another one ;) So eventually, with the key of my happiness in my own hand, a happier me was left with three beautiful gifts while welcoming the new year:)

A budding mother..

Every time, I go home, my mom asks me, what should I cook for you.I have a fairly long list of what food I love and what she should cook for me.
My Mom knows the most favorite dish of mine and the things I don't like.
I thought, this time, let's make what my Mom likes.And here comes the 'But' word from the dictionary.
But I don't know what does she like in particular..I am not a perfect daughter, I know."Idiot,you have a clue.She likes crispy and spicy dishes", shouted my heart. This relieved me and left me thinking, Oh, though I am not a perfect daughter, I am not a bad one too.
So, I decided to know more and more about what are the favorite things of hers. But I failed as her Mom is no more and who else could know her as much as a Mom can!. Hence, I will be collecting the information on my own, every time I visit her.
She is budding senior citizen now and after all, I am trying to be a new Mother of hers. So, I need to know what she likes and prepare that 'fairly long list' of hers.
This will probably help me decide the menu for her platinum jubilee :)
Hopefully I will know the list till then :)


From me,
A budding mother of my mother :) :)

Dancing in the rain

"Rain rain, go away, come again, another day!!"

This is what comes to my mind, when I recall my feelings about the rain in my childhood days. This shows that I did not like the monsoon showers. But this does not depict the complete story. I didn't hate these showers completely. I used to hate these only when I was inside my house, else I would love to open my mouth to feel the pure taste of the raindrops, like any other child of my age.

Today, I wonder, why did i feel like this. Why did I like it only when outside of my house, why not the other way round.I got the answer, it was, the condition of the house we stayed in.

It was our ancestral house. Hence, we were in no mood to leave it. However, whenever it started raining outside, within few minutes, it would rain inside my house as well. The structure of the house was so old that there was water leakage from almost half of the ceiling in my room. Well, same was the condition of the kitchen of my house. At times, it was so worse that all of us were just looking for some abundant space without water where we could sit at the least.

People usually enjoy 'pakodas' in the rains, but we always used to get 'khichadi' or a quick cooking recipe as my mom could not stand for a longer time at a place where rain water was leaking from the ceiling while cooking. Well, hats-off mom, I wouldn't cook in such scenarios. You at the least, did so.

There are too many of the scenarios to pen down.

Well, this was my case. Now, when sitting in my house and enjoying the beautiful showers, my mind always gets flooded with the memories of these scenes from my childhood. I wonder, what would be the condition of the ones who do not have a shelter to dwell during the monsoons..! I just had a small problem of the leakage, which I found to be difficult, what would be their condition who have to spend their lives under the flyovers! Put yourself in their shoes, would you really find the 'Dancing in the rain' concept a spectacular experience..Here for these people, an out of the world concept does exist... 'Surviving in the rain'..

No, I am not spreading pessimism or negativity to your mind. You might be thinking what could be done in such situations. Neither can we offer all of them with a shelter, nor can we stop the rains. However, there is a way we can help these people. The way is to find out some old rain-coats, the out of use clothes of ours and try to give these to the needful. This way, I don’t assure, will make them actually 'Dancing in the rain' but will surely enable them to 'survive in the rain'.

Next time, you find your wardrobe full of clothes you don’t use, remember these people and try helping them,because,

YOU CAn gift the clothing you don’t need anymoRE.